Annual torture
So retirement finally happened, and the weather was glorious. 30 odd degrees in the shade with a nice gentle breeze. So what does a good sailor do with such a perfect set of circumstances? Take the boat out of the water to clean and paint the bottom of course!
The annual maintenance that is required for a boat is probably the single biggest reason for most mere mortals to give up boating, apart from the ridiculous costs of course. And for good reason.Firstly, you are already paying a king's ransom to keep your boat in a place with great sailing and decent facilities.
Then they charge you an extortionate fee to lift your boat out and prop it up with scaffolding for a week or so. Some people will be smug right now about how they can get their boat lifted out and stored on shore for a few weeks for free. The reality of this is they are just paying for the 'free' service with an inflated mooring fee in the first place. Nothing is free in the wonderful world of capitalism.
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| The start of a 10 day process, which mainly involves emptying the boat owners bank account. |
Now you need to visit the marine chandler, or 'boat man shop' as its also known. Here you'll be charged £80 plus for a tin of paint, I need two of these for my boat. Of course while you're there you may as well do the other bits of maintenance that are needed. You think nothing of spending £60 or more on a couple of chunks of metal to stick on the bottom of the boat. Now in all honesty these chunks of metal are there in order to dissolve to nothing in the name of protecting any other bits of metal on the bottom of the boat. It's a kind of reverse alchemy really.
Then, once you have paid enough ransom for all the King's horses and all the Kings men, you have to start the glorious job of cleaning your bottom. The yard hands will jet wash the worst of things away, but try as they might you will always be left with a lovely job to do. NOTE for my American friends, this is called sarcasm.
There are 3 main types of bottom cleaning. Sand blasting or ice blasting, which is expensive and requires professional equipment, so let's leave that idea alone.
Then, once you have paid enough ransom for all the King's horses and all the Kings men, you have to start the glorious job of cleaning your bottom. The yard hands will jet wash the worst of things away, but try as they might you will always be left with a lovely job to do. NOTE for my American friends, this is called sarcasm.
There are 3 main types of bottom cleaning. Sand blasting or ice blasting, which is expensive and requires professional equipment, so let's leave that idea alone.
Sanding your bottom will always give good results when it comes to getting rid of those stubborn bits, but is again time consuming and ideally you want specialist equipment that will filter the fine dust particles out. Anyone who has tried to sand their bottom will know just how much of the residual gunge gets everywhere!
By far the most economical method is the humble scraper. I still recommend a mask and goggles, ideally a complete set of coveralls, but that 40 degree heat put paid to any chance of coveralls this year, I was melting just looking at the weather.
Scraping the bottom clean of barnacles, sea worms an other residual grime is a toxic experience, especially as the scrapings will inevitably release a layer of the previous, highly poisonous, antifouling. And there is only one place all of that is going to be attracted to.
Scraping the bottom clean of barnacles, sea worms an other residual grime is a toxic experience, especially as the scrapings will inevitably release a layer of the previous, highly poisonous, antifouling. And there is only one place all of that is going to be attracted to.
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| Scraping the bottom clean is a vital, but messy, part of the process |
Once you have poisoned yourself by cleaning loose paint and other associated crud off your bottom, it's time to break out the ridiculously expensive paint. Of course you are painting the underneath of your bottom, which for a large part means you are looking straight up at those drops of paint coming towards you. Once again coveralls are highly recommended, along with a face mask and goggles.
What ever you use to apply the paint, paint roller, brushes, face wipes or whatever, you are going to get covered. Now remember this stuff is supposedly toxic to all known life, its designed to even stop plant life growing on your bottom. EDIT It is reportedly toxic to humans and animals but no longer seems to stop the growth of sea creatures or seaweed on the bottom of a boat. So if it's particularly hot, and you have taken the unwise decision not to melt into a puddle by wearing coveralls, you are then going to have to get the stuff off your skin, because Murphy's law dictates that you will be covered in the stuff.
That's when you realise the other great quality of this paint .... it's waterproof. Of course it is, it's going on the bottom of a boat!
So before you start this boat maintenance lark, make sure you stock up on a few scrubbing brushes, maybe even wire brushes, in your toiletries for the torturous, skin removing, glorious shower that follows.
That's when you realise the other great quality of this paint .... it's waterproof. Of course it is, it's going on the bottom of a boat!
So before you start this boat maintenance lark, make sure you stock up on a few scrubbing brushes, maybe even wire brushes, in your toiletries for the torturous, skin removing, glorious shower that follows.
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| Looking smart and ready to go back in the water. |
This boating life isn't always the high life!
Edit: There is a YouTube video which accompanies this blog post, feel free to head over and take a look ....
Thank you
